Does the BBC Sports Personality Of The Year Award actually mean anything anymore? Is it there to celebrate the great achievements by British sporting individuals that have enriched all of our lives? Or is it just another waste of license payers money, a back slap awards ceremony where the who wins it actually means nothing and is barely heard over the invitees laughing as they quaff free champagne at your expense?
Well, maybe it’s neither of those things but as an award to recognise outstanding talent in competitive fields it certainly misses the mark further than a sober darts player playing on a cruise ship. Last nights winner confirmed the freefall had plummeted to a point where none of even the worst pessimists would have thought it could get to… Yes, if you thought Zara Philips winning it was the lowest ebb, then imagine my surprise when it was won by someone nobody had actually fucking heard of.
The winner, Tony something or other, too looked stunned even though it was likely he had been told prior to the event he had won just to ensure he bothered to turn up. Apparently he had something to do with horses, which was actually interesting because he did look a bit like one, albeit one with a body withered by polio. The runner-up wasn’t looking much healthier… Phil “The Power” Taylor doesn’t look much like he has any power at all these days, his diet leaving him with the look of a man who knows he only has a year or two left at best after being ravaged by a wasting disease.
Yes, even the most boring reformed darts player couldn’t win, kept off the podium by the world’s dullest man, which is ultimately what these awards have turned into. Whatshisface was supposedly over the moon though and brought out the most extreme adjectives when it came to expressing his joy at winning:
“This is an unbelievable feeling to win this award” he said, echoing sentiments uttered by anyone who has ever won anything they are completely indifferent about.
Perhaps the real question isn’t how thingy won the award but why was the field of contenders so poor that he was able to win it with almost 42% of the vote. Has there been an investigation into irregular betting patterns? If not there should be as I can’t believe for one moment that the general public decided to choose a jockey over the people that partake in real sports, no matter how mediocre they might be.
Of course having the word “personality” in the award name is a major stumbling block because none of the winners actually have any at all, or at least haven’t for years. Now they have that skin-crawling lack of charisma you associate with that person who the family call “uncle” but actually isn’t related to you at all. They simply stand there grinning like a paedophile mannequin unable to introduce any humour into the proceedings or come up with just one amusing anecdote. Indeed the last person to win it with any sort of personality was Paula Radcliffe, and I say that mainly because of the bobbing head thing and the fact I’ve seen her piss in the street like a common slag from Bolton.
And it’s unstandable why you’d want to shift the focus away from personality altogether as often it would be at complete loggerheads with professionalism. I mean, George Best, Alex Higgins, Paul Merson… They’ve got bags of personality but having them recognised for being cocaine using, gambling addicted wheezing alcoholics who were capable of moments of sporting brilliance even in their addled state probably sends out the wrong message to that all important commodity – the kids.
Yet at least the others, even including last year’s winner Ryan Giggs – a rare deserved winner in a fairly sketchy last six years – had stood out and achieved something spectacular in their field, a sport that people genuinely cared about and had international appeal. I’m not sure horse racing really has that going for it and how can winning a Grand National after fifteen attempts compare to a twenty year career at one of the best football clubs in the world, having won more trophies than any other British player still playing the game? Simply put, it doesn’t.
Is it right that… No it’s gone again, but is it right that he should be up there with the likes of Ian Botham, Daley Thompson, Nigel Mansell, Steve Davis, Nick Faldo, Paul Gascoigne and Linford Christie. World beaters and some of the best sportsmen that Britain has produced. Of course, to be a world beater you have to actually partake in a sport where people from all over the world actually compete in. Horse racing is an anachronism, an excuse for degenerates to throwaway their money and to be fleeced by inside betting scams. It also allows John McCririck to continue labouring under the delusion that he’s important. How is that a good thing?
Maybe the problem I have is with the sport and not the sportsman… Understandable really given the horses do most of the work. Whichever way you slice it though, this award needs to stop now. Unless of course the prize is a year long stint of humanitarian aid work involving trips to leper colonies and minefields. In that case, can we open the phonelines now? Things just got interesting.